I came upon this marvellous blog about resilience today and it’s exactly what I needed today as I’m feeling a bit blurgh. Not about having cancer and the imminent joys of chemotherapy and looking like Kojak (showing my age here), but because I miss my little brother. Okay, he’s a grown up and so am I, but he’ll always be my little brother. Just like my big brother will always be my big brother, no matter how old we are.
At times like this family and friends become more important than ever. I have wonderful, supportive friends and family. They say you find out who your real friends are in times of difficulty, and it’s true. What I’ve found out is that all my friends are real…apart from the ones in my head, of course. Those I see often and those I haven’t seen for years have rallied round with words of love and encouragement, and I hope they realise how important this is to me.
The nearby ones offer up their time to ferry me about to the many, many appointments that fill my days. They shop, they clean, they laugh with me, they bring me chocolate and biltong and Rice Krispies (other cereals are available), they encourage and support me. I couldn’t do it without them. The best thing is, they’re all as mad as me.
My little brother is in South Africa, and thanks to the general skulduggery and corruption in that country, South Africans can no longer travel to the UK whenever they want. No. They have to get a visa, which costs plenty and takes a while to get.
And so, while my big brother and I are here in the soggy UK, our little brother is in sunny South Africa. All I can do is think of him and miss him and wish he was here beside me as I continue this new, unwanted adventure. If I could sell a few thousand books or win the lottery or marry a minor royal with a major fortune, I could buy that damn visa and an exorbitantly expensive plane ticket and have him beside me. It’s been ten years since I last saw him. It’s been almost twenty years since the three of us were together in the same room. Wayyyy too long! And hence why I’m feeling blurgh. I shall now return to my colouring in. Or go for a walk.